It took me alot of courage to upload these photos. Some of you might comment, ‘what is the big deal?’ It is, for me or for anybody who is dealing with the struggle of the never ending acne prone skin journey. As we all know, we live in a society where everything is easier said than done. They quote great thoughts, but don’t let themselves or others really imply them easily.
By the time I entered high school, I had awful cystic acne covering my entire face. I was generally well-liked, but that didn’t stop people from feeling the need to comment on my skin. I vividly remember almost everyone from my relatives to some of my classmates making fun of me, both in my presence and absence, questioning my skincare routine and my personal hygiene. More so, I vividly remember a comment describing my face as having warts all over it and that my skin condition scares them. I still get angry when I remember this, but I am working on forgiving it.
Well, after battling my entire teenage, I found it was easier to hide my flaws than answering such hurtful questions. These left serious stains on my heart. So, I started using makeup as a shield. Soon those criticisms faded at some extent. Albeit, acne is still a constant on and off for me, as it is hormonal in nature.
When my adulthood began, those insecurities started altering me again. I started facing the same lack of self esteem in silence. Because looking good was not a desire, it had become a necessity for me now. I liked keeping myself pulled together, maintained, but somewhere I did feel that maybe I was hiding a large portion of my true self beneath this art. As I am growing older, it is now that I understand that its the society around you who names you an ugly duckling for moving around with a bare, make-up free face, and those are the same people, who call you a ‘caked face’ for wearing makeup. So whatever you do really doesn’t matter at all!
Fast forwarding to my present self, I still get acne! I heal, it breaks out again. But now, I’ve learnt to appreciate myself the way I am. I also understood that nothing is really compulsory. I don’t believe that something can be considered empowering if it is expected of you by society. We all have insecurities. There is no denying that. There is also no shame in being insecure as long as you can acknowledge that you are insecure about something and try to change the way you view that insecurity. And if you’re anything like me, you’ll begin to look in the mirror a little differently, considering your own “flaws” in a new light.
However, I just want to clear that, I am not at all against wearing makeup. I still pretty much love wearing makeup and I’ll continue to do so. But it will only be an option, not a priority. I am not here, trying to prove any point. I am just sharing my story, my change in perception with you. Actually, even a make up free face does not spell confidence . Its you, who needs to bring that from within. If you don’t want to wear makeup, its cool. If you want to wear makeup, fine, go ahead! Just don’t go telling yourself and everybody else that you’re empowered because you do. Embracing anything you do to beautify your inner self is more beautiful. Keep reminding yourself, you are unique and beautiful in your own way. I am gradually embracing this fact myself. Spread love and help to heal. Be the heroine of your story, not the victim.
Written by Sabiha Sifayet For Share To Aware